Because it's hot...and I want it cold:




healed

a bit of words because I've let the general population get to me this week leaving me angry. It has nothing to do with any friends here, no worries. It just feels good to be bitchy today.

---------------------------

I'm not about bliss
or joy
or finding inner peace

I'm angry and I like it that way

I'm not gonna leave inspiring Post-it notes
around the house
to remind me to "do the right thing"

I'm not about your trends
your favorite dance club
what your friends think is cute

I'm not about big fake
lips
boobs
egos
celebrities

I'm am
raw
bloody
spontaneous
chaotic
passionate
opinionated
dark
mischievous
vengeful
selfish
free

I hold grudges
I am not your friend
I don't need your approval
I don't need you to like me

I am not your girl

"Who watches the watchmen?"
things to watch:

Watchmen

Patti Smith - Dream of Life

Man On Wire
(Tag saw this already and said it was amazing so...)

Coraline Movie Behind the Scenes - Henry Selick and Neil Gaiman Bring Coraline to Life

Coraline Movie Behind the Scenes - Crafting The World Of Coraline

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

and just because it's stuck in my head and the lyrics are sappy ---

I still dont have time for a proper update...but, I just found my scribbled on bit of paper that I stashed away in my purse when I was in Seattle.

This makes me smile: Trini Dalton, Hummingbird Moonlight, Dennis Cooper, Struwwelpeter, Museum of Jurassic Technology, The Exile...

You know your friends are cool when you're frantically scribbling down names of poets, artists, authors, books, museums and movies from your conversation so you can look them up later at home. Tag and Boo, you rule. Truly. Btw.. that movie about trains I was trying to tell you about.. was called The Station Agent. Add it to Netflix =D It's not earth shattering but a very nice little look at friendship and social interaction.

I owe more comments and such. Congrats on the $20 tip. That rules. Boo's photos have been gorgeous. The antique handcuffs...OFMG...*swoons*

I swear I'll post some photos from Seattle soon-ish.

And today I'm high as a kite cause someone sent brilliant words, spoken in a handsome voice...you in my blood...
*purring*

Umm...so I haven't updated this journal.
I haven't emailed people I need to email.
I haven't been out seeing people very much.
I haven't finished editing my photos from Seattle.
I - blame - the - weather.

You know how people get depressed in winter? Lack of sunlight affects their heads? I'm the opposite. Hot sunny summers oppress me. I get phsycially sick if I'm out in it. Mentally and physically I just shut down in anything over 80 degrees. So in the heat of Southern California, I run from the house to the car to work back to the house. And it wouldnt be SO bad because we do have air conditioning but unfortunately our house is so fucked up in design that the upstairs is ALWAYS a good 10 degrees hotter. If it's 74 downstairs, it's 84 in my room. So as much as I tried to do stuff like answer emails, write emails, do research, edit photos, etc, it was just too fucking hot in my room this weekend to do anything. After ten minutes with sweat rolling down my neck I'd give up. Last summer I moved my computer downstairs to try to solve that problem but ended up hating the feel of it down there so I moved it back. Woe is me. I know I know.. big baby. So this weekend I didn't do jack.

I still need to write some notes about my Seattle visit. I need to do.. alot of things. Work is busy but I hate it. More and more I really feel done here. I've hit the ceiling. I'll never make more money here and even if I did; I'm not happy. I hate the city I live in. I hate the weather. I'm boarded up in my house all summer. I feel -- ineffective. I'm not creating. I'm not inspired. I'm certainly not out and exploring and being social. So yeah, I need to shut up and do something about it. I'm working on that. I swear.

I had intended to write so much more... but my lunch time is out and I have to get back to work. I'll leave you with some photos from SecondLife. I usually don't care about fashion and contests and such but there's a Hair Fair going on and I really have to put in some pieces for some designers that have went above and beyond. The details in these hairs are incredible and I've been experimenting alot more with hair and skin lately.... so here you go.




( see more of Cer's changing styles - NWS )
Oh, and Zack from Rage Against the Machine has a new band called One Day As A Lion. Check it out.

“One Day As A Lion is both a warning delivered and a promise kept.”

“A defiant affirmation of the possibilities that exist in the space between kick and snare. It’s a sonic reflection of the visceral tension between a picturesque fabricated cultural landscape, and the brutal socioeconomic realities it attempts to mask. One Day As A Lion is a recorded interaction between Zack de la Rocha and Jon Theodore from Los Angeles, California.”

“The name taken from the infamous 1970 black and white, captured by legendary Chicano photographer George Rodriguez featuring a center framed tag on a white wall in an unspecified section of Boyle Heights. It reads: ‘It’s better to live one day as a lion, than a thousand years as a lamb.’ This record is a stripped down attempt to realize this sentiment in sound.”

new tattoo - an extension of the Scottish family badge on my upper arm done two years ago. This is half done, there will be more to do later but we ran short on time. Work done by Erika at Outer Limits in Anaheim.




I also got the top of my ear pierced two more times (you know, as long as I was there enduring pain, why not?) But I haven't taken a photo of those yet. Mmmmm...poke poke poke.

Back - sorta. I'm actually tired of traveling. Hmm, not tired of traveling, no that's wrong, but tired of waiting. All the waiting - in lines - in chairs - in taxi's - in shuttles - enough. Ra was very happy to see me and demanded much attention when I got home last night. Tomorrow though....ohhhhh. I won't be able to sleep! New tattoo at 11:30am. EEEEEk! And then, I will attempt to go to the beach in the evening and try not to get sand stuck to the ooey gooey parts of my new tat.

Cell phone photos from SF -- from the movie theatre (where I saw the XFiles movie and The Dark Knight) and the motorcycle parking near the hotel I stayed at.




I have so much to catch up on... so many blogs to read and comments to make. Why didn't you all stop and wait for me?
~laughs~

wanna become an investor?
~rubs hands together~
I have devious plans.

Ok, maybe not devious. But um... plans yes. Loftly goals. The secret to um...something.
Don't mind me. Move along....

er..5.6 earthquake ... fun times.

No time for updates. Back from the pacific northwest and I'm off to San Francisco for 3 days for work. Gah. I need to say so much... to everyone I saw in Seattle -you fucking rock my world. Boo and Tag - you were like family and the best night's sleep I had on the whole trip. Photos and stories when I get back. And kisses to my dear professor. Every breath aches.

A series of mythological artworks exploring
the themes of temptation and revenge.

Opening 12pm PST (SLT), 27th July 2008 until 7th September 2008

Musa Artis: Temptation & Revenge is a new exhibition that began life as a project penned for Second Life’s Fifth Birthday celebrations but developed into a larger independent exhibition. The central theme explores two of the darker influences on human nature and how these have been worked into the fabric of mythology. Drawing influences ranging from ancient Greece through to Celtic and more modern subcultures, each individual exhibit features a display of images, worked into the environment by each artist helping to contextualise the subjects depicted.

Musa Artis is a group of artists formed during the conception of the Temptation & Revenge exhibition in 2008, which came together due to a commonality of interests and philosophies regarding art within Second Life and were determined to create successful collaborative work in an independent fashion, free of the regulatory interference of either event organisers or gallery promoters. Temptation & Revenge represents their first in world collaborative project.

Visitors are very much encouraged to take their time exploring the individual exhibits and the ambience of the natural settings, interacting with the scenery to create their own custom images.

The opening reception and toga party begins at midday on Sunday 26th July, with music provided by guest DJ Arahan Claveau.

SLURL will follow in coming days.

This exhibition includes work by:
Keeran Blackadder, Ganymedes Costagravas, Raul Crimson, Cerdwin Flanagan, Zinc Karas, Khamudy Mannonen, Pilgrim Miles, Keiko Morigi, Silverdrake Sparrow.

Exhibition photostream -
www.flickr.com/groups/musa_artis_exhibitions/

Trying to get loose ends at work tied and then I'm outta here on Thursday morning. It's gonna cost me an arm and a leg in gas to drive this trip - flying would be cheaper - but as much as I hate airports -- I need the time alone.




title: arachne

Airborne Toxic Event


And so there's a change...
in your emotions
and all of these memories come rushing
like feral waves to your mind
of the curl of your bodies
like two perfect circles entwined
and you feel hopeless, and homelss
and lost in the haze
of the wine

You said you knew

You said that the cut ran deeper

That I had been in your veins

In your blood



You said you understood

Instantly

My red scrawls on the wall

My burnt skin and bare bones



You said you heard

The crows

Calling us both

Into the woods

( Read more... )

My first 500 word exercise was harder than I expected. Talk about having to edit down to the essentials...!
-------------
Subject: Princes
Voice: 1st Person
Time: Present Day

The Prince

It was October again and I found myself outside Cafe du Monde under an ancient oak, sketching in a journal and listening to a lonely saxophone player. I sipped coffee with chicory and breathed in the thick, sweet scent of honeysuckle. This vacation was the one thing I allowed myself to indulge in out of an otherwise very dull and routine existence. The cozy room I rented in the Gentry House B&B on St. Ann was exactly the same - as if time had stood still – every year for the past six. This city pulled at me in mysterious ways and the French Quarter fed my soul.

Near midnight the mule drivers started their trek back to the barns, the jingling of the harnesses and the clip-clop of hooves as they passed by made its own kind of night music that ushered in the city’s graveyard shift. I was reluctant to turn in so early but I was tired from the flight so I headed back to my room taking Canal Street to St. Ann past the shops and restaurants towards Marie Laveaux's Voo Doo Shop and the Creole houses that lay beyond.

I had walked past Place d'Armes more than a dozen times on my trips here, always looking into the antique double doors, past the front desk and into the courtyard. The hotel was lush and expensive and held an air of decadence that attracted me to it more than I cared to admit. I could see the dim lights glowing in the expansive and overgrown courtyard and for a moment wondered what it would be like to be lost in it. Just past the double doors to the lobby was a large bay window that opened up into the hotel’s bar. Though dim, the light glowed orange and yellow as burnt shadows danced on the walls behind a table of five gentlemen dressed in Victorian garb like a living anachronism. Looking closer I suddenly felt dizzy as the ground beneath and everything around me dissolved. I was suddenly in the room, up close and witnessing a very intense conversation.

“He shouldn’t be here,” the gruff white-haired man rebuffed shooting a menacing glance at the bearded man to his left. “This stupid quest of his will endanger us all!”

The bearded man held out his hand, asking for calm, “Monsieur Delacroix, please. The Prince would never put us in jeopardy if it was not absolutely necessary, you know that.”

The white-haired man scowled from face to face around the table considering each before leveling his stare on the younger, dark figure seated in the shadows obscured from view. All held their breath in expectation.

The Prince leaned forward slowly until his glassy blue eyes caught the yellow light of the lamp on the table. Suddenly he turned towards me, his voice, smooth and deep as he whispered, “Do not worry Monsieur Delacroix, the hunt is over. She is here.”
--------------------------------

SL screen caps for greygirlbeast
( in Toxia )

The 4th was uneventful. I was just thankful to be off work. Got my hair cut today and enjoyed a lunch at Portfolio Coffee House in Long Beach. Came home and crashed for the rest of the afternoon, waking up after 7pm. It's good to recharge before having to face work next week. Tonight was some more RP in Toxia... I might post photos later if I don't get sidetracked.

This is the cover graphic I made for a writing/art project I'm doing. It's something that started in SL and has grown outside of it with a few kindred souls. It's some much needed inspiration and spark to the imagination. We're doing alot of writing... round robin even and are considering doing the NoMoWri project in November.




And I'm posting these, just because. Shots from AM Radio's The Far Away sim in SL
( see more )

Off work... ohhh so nice! I'm gonna eat breakfast and go back to bed!

More SL screen caps for greygirlbeast
( in Toxia )

I will never tire of getting lost in the audio-landscapes of "Charlotte Sometimes"... the overlapping vocals mesmorize me every single time I hear it.

More travel updates:
I will be in San Francisco July 29-31st for work in the Financial District (Embarcadero).
Any good ideas on what to do in the evening?

My boss is gone to the UK for 3 weeks... it's going to be interesting around here to say the least.

SL screen caps for greygirlbeast
( in Toxia )

Coincidences are like magic to me. In this age where magical things hold no power, coincidence serves as my delusional hope...

Yesterday, I had just written an email to Jyri apologizing for being out of touch (I think he'd sent me 4 or 5 emails I neglected to answer these last three weeks), pushed the send button and immediately was alerted to a new mail in my box, from Jryi, asking if I had forgotten about my real life friends. We must have written those and sent them at the exact same time. It made me smile. Furthermore, my reply was to tell him that I was thinking of going to Seattle for a visit, and his reply was, "we're having a summer party, I've sent you an evite." If this is not the universe telling me to go, I don't know what is. So, in the face of not going to Scotland this year, my default vacation will be to Seattle. I havent been in what... 2 years? 3? I'll be staying with my dad a couple days, crashing at Jyri's for the party (I can sleep on the floor.. I'll be quiet.. I promise!) and and and... maybe I can swing by and see Sonya in PDX on the way back. Also, maybe I can bribe Tag and Boo to go eat dinner with me. Mandatory stops will include Tenzing Momo (where I will attempt not to buy the whole store) and Morning Glory Chai. I'm looking forward to the drive and to some alone time in Mt Shasta on the way there.




"Stitched"
SecondLife photo edited in Photoshop