Reminder: This Sunday in LA!, originally uploaded by BLU282.

We've donated this matted print of Cernunos to this event to be auctioned off for charity. If you're in the Los Angeles area... should be a pretty good time.

Event website: http://www.rocknrollnrescue.com/

smoke & licorice, originally uploaded by BLU282.

digital completed 6/20/09

So the PC at home is fixed! At least for now. A bit of dusting and straightening of USB ports seemed to do the trick. Thank the internet gods for DIY computer repair.

Last night I finished up 11 new female vampire skins for SL. Tonight I'll work on finishing the ads and boxing them up. I *might* make the veins in the torso and legs a bit darker... totally going for the Akasha-as-marble look.

What else... I've been reading more and researching and planning a bit more for the Scotland trip next fall. Just the very idea of having this trip looming in the future puts me at ease and comforts me.

I'm in a weird state of flux.. personally and emotionally. A few weeks ago I was totally lost and disappointed and ready to give up on everything. This week, I'm ok with just seeing how things pan out...finding my own skin again. Had a good and long overdue conversation with my dear professor and every word was soothing -- like falling into your own comfortable bed after a long trip.

...and the devil points the way, originally uploaded by BLU282.

digital completed 6/19/09

Work has been terribly hectic ... but I'm thankful we have business to keep us busy.

Having said that, I've put myself on a tight financial budget again. After spending alot of money on art related things these last few months, I need to concentrate on paying the printer and getting some credit cards paid off. THEN, I shall be saving for another trip to Scotland next fall.

I've taken some time to myself lately, laid off working on stuff in SL and worrying over the art bit. Stopped spending so much time on the computer. Spent more time with books and daydreams and pets and the wind. I've hermited and it's been good. I'm feeling like my old self and my old goals and dreams are creeping back in. I feel satisfied with that... knowing where I want to go and with whom..and not so much worrying about HOW I'm getting there just yet. We'll see... as someone noticed, "its as if the wind just changed direction..."

the summoning, originally uploaded by BLU282.

digital completed 6/18/09

"it's all in the blood," she said., originally uploaded by BLU282.

Digital completed June 17, 2009.

People keep asking how the show went and I've been avoiding talking about it. I *think* it went ok. When I look at it from an objective point of view - look at the photos and that video - it looks ok, right? The video was kind of neat - it caught a few people really looking, pointing and someone said, "that's so fucking cool."

But honestly, I was blinded by my own personal disappointment. I expected to see alot of familiar faces there. I had posted about it early on, in so many places, handed out flyers, and Dave did a great job pushing the event too. But five people I know showed up. Five. And to them, I'm forever grateful. To Boo and Stuart, who also made the point of calling me from Seattle to wish me luck, thank you thank you. And to my dear professor for the text message and to J for the call the night of..thanks too.

I keep reading back on Doc Hammer's journal, about his first solo art show, where he wisely said, "I didn't keep tabs on who showed up so that I could hate them when they didn't. I didn't send out formal invites or emails. I just posted it here and told people that I ran into. Who ever came, fine. Whoever didn't, fine." I need to remember that.

I was nervous and anxious during the event and when I am grilled about who did I meet and who did I talk to and if I got the name of the person that bought a print.... uh... no I didn't. Why? Because... I'm not that social of a person. Are there rules at these things? What should I have done? When someone did have questions, I answered, hopefully intelligently, but I do art. I'm not an entertainer. Did I fuck it up? Again referring to what Doc wrote about his first show; I've come to the conclusion that no... maybe that was all normal.

He said,

"It was an effort . How the fuck do people do that kinda shit? I was fully aware that if I didn't say or do the "right" thing, I would be branded an asshole. Not an awkward painter, but an asshole. It's happened before. Nobody stops to think that the kind of person who would have high profile music, painting and writing careers might be socially bizarre, they just think "asshole". And these people that brand me as such are not mean people. They simply lack the sympathy required to meet one of those shut-ins that have become an "art martyr". I understand why they do it, and even try to please them to the best of my ability. But I know it happens even when I try to avoid it. Even when I think that I survived the freak show and everybody got their quarters worth of viewing my deformity, I know that there will will be talk of what a dick I was...

I was not myself that night. I was enduring a situation that I have never experienced. It was the beginning of my career as a painter. One more path that I must travel. And I have patiently waited a lifetime to walk that path.

Ultimately, I encountered no real problems. Everybody I met was pretty cool. And were I in a more normal frame of mind, I would have exchanged numbers with many of them..."

So maybe that's it. The first one down and emptied and I'm all the better for it. Now it's wait and see what happens between now and August 22nd.

If you want to be famous and loved by your peers... Quit now.

Don't wait for inspiration, it's a myth.

If you suck at it, keep trying.

No more excuses.
"I can't paint in my apartment, it's too small." Then paint smaller pictures. "I have this new job waiting tables now, and I have no time to paint" Then learn to manage your schedule or stop calling yourself a painter (you might be a waiter/waitress). Painters are not born so, they are made so. "I hate the smell of turpentine." I don't use turpentine, so that is a lame excuse. And watercolors have no smell at all, try those. "I have no talent, but I love to paint" Talent? I went to school with "talented" people, and none of them still paint. It's all us fools who would not give up the fight to get better at painting that still do it. The "talented" can't deal with failure. And us fools live to fail, and learn from our failures. Every painting I have made is considered (by me) to be a huge fucking failure. And I can't wait to redeem myself.
If you are telling yourself "I can't", you might want to try saying "I must".


Your old work sucks.
That painting you did in school that you love so much... it's crap. Move on! You are much better than that now. You have all the skill that you had then plus the experience you have gained since then. "Glory-day" thinking is for jocks that got fat after graduation. Painters can't romanticize their early creations, for it pulls away their drive to produce truer works from the self of "now". Do you know what your best painting is? It's the one you are working on. And you can bet your ass that you will hate it right after you start your next best painting. This part is sad but true: There is no success. Your posthumous body of work is nothing but a wake of failures being adored by history. Do you really want to paint your ideal painting? Come on, why would you bother to paint again? Did you not just touch the impossible "truth"? And if you never paint again... Ummmm, YOU NEVER PAINT AGAIN! (That is a nightmare in my estimation.)

Newpocalypse Art @ Night Gallery, originally uploaded by BLU282.

See photos from the art opening here:
http://www.newpocalypse.com/nightgallery/index.htm

memento mori detail 6, originally uploaded by BLU282.

Listen: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_qnUbUUKV0

"Jesus Christ
Are you the son of God
I want to know
You ask that I believe
Not one day goes by
That I don't compromise
Your love for the cold love of the world
It's killing me through my own evil pride
Not one day goes by
That I don't know that I'm dying
Jesus Christ
Are you the saviour of the world
I want to see
But I still believe
Not one day goes by
That I don't realize
I know that no one will ever know
Where the flowers go when they are gone
Not one day goes by
That I don't know that I'm dying

I want to say, you all are too"

[I'm Dying - VAST]

Tonight!, originally uploaded by BLU282.

http://www.newpocalypse.com/nightgallery.htm

Opening Reception: Saturday, June 6th from 7-10pm
DJ Dave Bats (from Release the Bats) will be spinning
Hors d' oeuvres and wine will be served at reception.

Address:
Night Gallery Ceramics
201 N. Main St. Santa Ana, CA 92701
(714)973-8477 www.nightgalleryceramics.com

Sneak Peak - Art Opening tomorrow!, originally uploaded by BLU282.

Sneak Peak at one of the many new pieces that will be on display at the Newpocalypse Art Opening on Sat June 6th. This is a 48" tall banner displayed on a decorative gothic hanging rod.
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See show details here: http://www.newpocalypse.com/nightgallery.htm

We would LOVE to see you there tomorrow and would welcome your support on our first solo show! if you're in Southern California, this is a great opportunity to see many galleries at once - for Free! It's artwalk night in Santa Ana and all of the galleries in this neighborhood are open from 7:30pm-10pm with free food, drink and music. Eat and drink your way across the neighborhood. DJ Dave Bats (from Release the Bats) will be DJing our show and has picked out music especially formatted to match our art! (we're so damn spoiled! We love you Dave!)

I should be eating dinner and having drinks at Gypsy Den in Santa Ana prior to the opening (around 5:30pm) so if you'd like to drop by early, feel free! (http://www.gypsyden.com/ )

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More about the artwalk:

The monthly event will give you access to buy original art work from some of Southern California’s freshest, edgiest and most talented artists. It also will have open viewings of working lofts owned by artists and designers all in an award winning urban setting.

The recently completed Lofts are part of the larger Santa Ana Artists Village. The village includes major art venues such as the California State University Fullerton Grand Central Art Center, the Orange County Center for Contemporary Art, Santora Arts Building, Empire Arts Building, as well as a mix of smaller, up-and-coming galleries and design studios. Alternately funky and polished, impressionistic and representational, the galleries show some of the county’s hottest work.

Galleries and showrooms at the East Village Lofts and the Main Street Lofts (across the street) include SpaceOnSpurgeon, The Digital Messiah Gallery + Studio, gp threads, GINAC Gallery, Night Gallery Ceramics, cent gallery, Mahvash Gallery, Stephen Beck Gallery of Contemporary Art and others.

'Twas better to die 'neath an Irish sky, originally uploaded by BLU282.

... countdown to the Newpocalypse Art Opening this Saturday.... yikes! Anyone wanna join me at the Gypsy Den in Santa Ana for food and drink beforehand?

sacrum particulae, originally uploaded by BLU282.

Finished the above piece around 6am this morning...

Fedex just delivered our first custom Newpocalypse Skateboard deck. It's beautiful and the workmanship is great. Will try to take some decent photos of it tonight at home. I'm behind on emails and responses .... will try to get to those this week before I'm totally preoccupied with the show on Saturday...